i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
