You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
