dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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