she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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