dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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