I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
