I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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