see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
