she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
