We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
