My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize