When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Randomize