you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize