just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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