Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
