Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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