I'm really into asian looking animals
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
