Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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