yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
