i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
