Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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