you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Randomize