It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
