You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
