do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
