I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
