So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
