Do you still have your period?
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize