We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
