he wants to bone in the snuggie
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
