3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
