yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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