they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
