there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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