sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
