your parents love me but you hate me
hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
