What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
True but thats because hes a fetus.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
