Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
