if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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