and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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