operation have a gay friend backfired
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
