Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
