i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
