I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
