just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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