I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I want to fling myself into the sun
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
