too bad you live with your parents still
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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