I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
There's always time for handjobs
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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