Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
We talked him into tasing himself.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
We don't watch enough power rangers
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
