you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
