I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
