On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
