I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
