I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
