so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
