i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
