I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
