May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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