I should be sponsored by Trojan
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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