Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry Kaden005 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(301): View more from Maryland

Define "chronic" masturbator.

Fav 14 1769 1830
share tweet
(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.

Fav 17 8659 1214
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(864): View more from South Carolina

so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.

Fav 20 8122 1399
share tweet
(309): View more from Illinois

I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time

(1-309): View more from Illinois

I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating

Fav 21 5343 1646
share tweet
(313): View more from Michigan

is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday

Fav 6 3827 1031
share tweet
(312): View more from Illinois

I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy

Fav 7 3172 1430
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(630): View more from Illinois

What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.

Fav 10 2865 1568
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(301): View more from Maryland

The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.

Fav 0 729 605
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(605): View more from South Dakota

Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.

(605): View more from South Dakota

You live and learn.

Fav 0 21 35
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT