Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
