why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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