I need to stop coming to work sober
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Randomize
