Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Ambien. No doubt about it.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
