my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
