I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
