woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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