In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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