i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
