you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
