for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize