I'm jealous of your bromance
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
