is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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