I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
