We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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