i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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