Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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