hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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