covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
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