I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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