You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
